A Miracle of Lycra and Other Space-Age Polymers

Stop the presses, my friends, I have found a flattering bathing suit!

I know!

I'm seven weeks post-partum and in that delightful phase where all my old clothes don't fit quite properly. I can get them on, but sometimes I feel like why bother when I just look lumpy. I know I AM lumpy, but I don't want to look that way.

I'm back on the healthy diet and exercise wagon to work on the lumpiness (goodbye ice cream every single night!), but I was dreading swimsuit shopping because I knew there was no way I would be able to lose enough of the baby weight before I would need to shoehorn myself into my old bathing suit.

Well, not unless I stopped eating real food and lived on ephedrine and diet Coke. At which point I would probably have a heart attack and what good is a swimsuit if you are in the cardiac care unit, right?

I thought about buying a cheap one from Target, but here's the thing: whatever bathing suit I purchase has to be able to withstand multiple outings with five children. In terms of fabric strength, that means it needs to be made out of the same material used in astronaut's suits.

I never, EVER stop moving when I am wear a bathing suit, because when I am wearing a bathing suit that means only one thing: the fearless fruits of my womb are near a large body of water and I will not sit until we are safely away from the water. Whatever bathing suit I choose needs to be tug-free, slip-free, and supportive (preferably with some kind of corset action going on. Gravity NEEDS to be stopped).

Somehow I just knew that I would not find all that on the sale rack at Target.

I wanted something strong that would hold in my baby belly leftovers and give the girls a much needed lift, but I also wanted it to be comfortable and stylish. And this is what I found after a little searching:

Isn't it cute? The whole thing just works for me. The retro styling, the ruching, the neckline, the color. And the fit is perfect.

This little number is not cheap, but considering I'll be wearing it all summer for the next few years, I figured I'd spend the money for the fancy Lycra miracle instead of buying lots of cheap suits many times over.

I won't go so far as to say that I'm looking forward to walking around in public in a bathing suit - those days ended when I was about seven - but I am comfortable in this suit, and that's what counts.

And besides, I'll be too busy trying to count heads and keep Bun out of the deep end of the pool to worry about what I look like. Thank God for that!

PS: I received absolutely no compensation or encouragement from Lands' End for this post. I'm flying solo here, but if they were ever to send me anything lovely I wouldn't throw it back on the UPS truck.

PPS: Do you call them bathing suits or swimsuits? I've always called them bathing suits, but I notice that lots of ads call them swimsuits. Of course, I used to say lunch kettle instead of lunchbox, so maybe it's just me.