Friday, October 31, 2008

The Trouble With Angels

Halloween snuck up on me this year. I know that it's on the same day every year, but whatever. My butt was not in gear, to say the least.

Maybe it's because I tend to view Halloween as a colossal chore these days. I know I should just go with the flow, but with all the costume assembly and the classroom parties and the Halloween parades, I just start to shut down.

What happened to the days when you just scrounged around in your mom's closet for a costume and went out like that. We never went to costume shops when I was younger; you were a gypsy or a hippie or a clown or a hobo. (Although it has been brought to my attention that hobos are not "PC" anymore.)

I put off the kids' costume selections for so long this year that I finally just went to Tar-jhay and bought them some 100% synthetic rayon/poly blend disasters. Well, maybe not disasters, but not pretty either. But at 60% off, it was worth the cost of not scrambling around like a screaming idiot. That's price you pay for being unprepared (or 60% off the price you pay, it seems).

I did have to take the kids into one of those seasonal costume superstores yesterday, and boy was that an eyeful. We needed a wig for a project of Francie's, and I was hoping to run in and out before the kids noticed anything weird or depraved.

Uh, yeah. Right.

We walked in and the first sign I saw was a costume section called "Wickedly Innocent."

Excuse me? What the hey-ho does that even mean?

Wickedly innocent apparently means dressing up like an angel. Except you get to wear a really short skirt with ruffly boy short panites, garters, and a bustier. You know I'm just biding my time until I can get to heaven and get my harp, halo, and bustier. All the hot angels are wearing them.


I'm not a Halloween killjoy, I'm really not. I like the pumpkin carving and the dressing up and the candy. Lord knows I like the candy. But I just don't like seeing little kids dressed up like angel hookers. Call me crazy.

So in the spirit of Halloween, I will stop being curmudgeonly and wish you all a safe and happy evening. May your costumes be warm, may your candy be high quality, and may you sleep the sleep of the highly sugared.

Happy Halloween!

Our pumpkins were apparently undergoing some kind of exorcism at the moment this picture was taken.

Twisted Sister. Err... brother?

Fiver's pumpkin: The Happy Bat

Sally and Bun's pumpkin: Moonlit Kitty

Rob is dressing up as a Phillies Phan this year.

Our harvest-bedecked mantle, complete with candy corn lights courtesy of a lovely friend.

It's like a little pumpkin totem pole.


  1. I have turned into some sort of Halloween grinch. I actually caught myself this morning thinking about how much laundry and other things I could get done if I just sent my husband out trick-or-treating and I stayed home. But I will go. But I soooo don't want to.

  2. Today as I walked into the gym where we pick up students, one of my fellow teachers whispered in my ear.."I hate Halloween."
    I don't know why, but I found it SO funny.
    I think there are many people who just miss simple homemade pumpkin outside.


  3. i know, trick-or-treating tonight with my two tots, i saw a pre-teen dressed up with garters etc. (i think she was trying to be a pussycat doll)

    anyway-- i wasn't sure which made me puke more: seeing a preteen all whore-y, or noticing that this girl's mother was waiting in the car for her- beaming after her in admiration. (!)

  4. Your decorations are so fun - you're hired to do my house next year.

    And your pumpkins are smashing. (Sorry, couldn't resist.) We're the lame family who didn't even get around to those this year. *for shame*

    And I am with you on the slutty costumes. GAH!

  5. Anonymous3:18 PM

    Maybe Rob was dressing up as Cole Hamels (so you would think he was cute as a button too!) haha

    When I see those girl costumes I am SO happy for my 2 boys!


  6. Aw, sweet!! Love the exorcist pumpkins, too.

  7. Anonymous9:39 AM

    OK---I so loved the pumpkin picture undergoing exorcism when the photo was taken! Very fun! Your blog was exactly what I needed today for a good laugh & a chuckle (after some heavy stuff goin' on around my home). I am LOVIN' the blonde wig. I need to go get me a fun wig to wear or for teh kids to wear when we need a laugh or two. Thanks for reminding me that humor brightens every 'difficult' day...Diana L.


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