Wednesday, August 13, 2008

Swim Fan

We have succumbed to Olympics mania, if by we you mean me.

They had me from the opening ceremony, even though now some unsavory details are coming out about the show, such as taped fireworks displays and a cute Chinese lip-syncer who replaced the less cute, but better sounding singer.

I'm sure they never, ever pick the cuter but less talented entertainment figure to be on television here in America.

It's the seamy underbelly of the Olympics, but I say, "whatevs" (and yes, I am ashamed to admit that I really do say "whatevs" like some thirteen year old girl). I can't help but watch.

I've been staying up much too late to catch gymnastics and beach volleyball, but it's really the swimming for which I am pining. I know it's the most band-wagony of all the sports, but I can't help it. I'm all about the swimming.

The only problem is that I can't stand suspense, so I "watch" the events in mute with a pillow over my eyes. Meanwhile, I make Rob watch and when he is sure that Team USA is winning by something ridiculous like a whole body-length, he taps me on the shoulder and I'll watch the last thirty or so meters.

It would probably be easier for me to watch the highlights on the morning news, but I am all about team support, you know. If I'm not looking at them, then at least I can say that I waited up to not look at them.

Also? I think I need to start swimming for six hours a day and follow that up with some weight lifting because Michael Phelps eats between 8,000 to 10,000 calories per day. PER DAY, my friends.

That's my allotment for the entire week. Think of all the pie I could eat if I got to have 10,000 calories a day. Of course, it might also help to have the metabolism of a 23 year old man, but lets not quibble over the details.

And another thing I thought about last night? Is there a rule in gymnastics that you HAVE TO wear iridescent blue eye shadow? I mean, every single girl from every different country had some sparkly blue going on with her eyes.

Speaking of gymnastics, do you really think those Chinese gymnasts are sixteen years old? Because if they are sixteen, then I look like I'm eighty. They were amazing and I'm not trying to take anything away from their performance, even though lots of people have their leotards in a bunch over the girls' ages. The IOC is saying "La La La, can't hear you", but someone from the Chinese team did say that the girls were chosen from elementary schools and nursery schools to become gymnasts.

I guess as long as they didn't choose them last week, right?

And my last thought about the Olympics? How much wax do you think the beach volleyball players go through, because, hello! they are wearing their underwear out on the court in front of millions of people.

OK, that's all I've got. I may need to take a nap this afternoon because the swimming isn't on until 10:48 tonight, and I have to make sure that I can stay up to not watch them.

What about you, my friends? Following any sports in particular? Watching, but not, like me?


  1. oh yeah, I'm watching. It's the perfect distraction at the end of a pregnancy. I can feel myself getting skinnier and fitter by osmosis.
    Dittos on the underwear-wearing volleyball players. My husband was saying the it's a really popular sport b/c of the skimpy clothes but I was just looking at their tops and didn't think they were too bad - sporty at least. But then I got a glimpse of their bottoms! Literally...Phew, talk about hiding nothing!
    I'm always a gymnastics fan...typically girly of me, I know.
    I'm on a lot of coffee today in spite of the pregnant situation because of the Olympics...poor baby.

  2. I've caught a few events, like the US-Nig soccer game that was on when I woke up with a coughing fit a 5AM today. But that's it. I'm not into the Olympics this time around.

    And if you want to talk about going through wax have you noticed how smooth the swimmers. Those guys have no hair on their torso. None. at. all.
    At least they don't shave their eyebrows to reduce the drag anymore.

  3. You know we're watching it. I had no idea but my husband is a big gymnastics fan. Although we will not let our girls even consider doing that. Do you think those Chinese gymnasts felt joy at winning gold, or relief? I think relief. I can't wait for the track events.

  4. I haven't gotten into it this year. We've been watching baseball. We pay extra to get the MLB package so it feels like wasting money not to watch the Red Sox.

  5. I haven't been watching it because I've been so busy, but I've caught all the highlights on the news the next day. The swimmers are amazing! And 10,000/day? Wow, you're right, I need to take up swimming. Of course I'd do it slowly for 15 minutes and then go eat cake. I bet he doesn't eat cake. He probably only eats good stuff.

  6. Anonymous8:54 PM

    I am totally addicted! LOVE the swimming. And I totally become some expert gymnastics coach every 4 years--"she did not stick that landing, that is a 3/10th's deduction". I crack myself up!

    I am quite sure that with a trainer, chef, and no other job to do besides swim that I would be in GREAT shape!

    And what girl does not love boys beach volleyball!

    My wonderful 7-year old son said since I like gymnastics so much I should do it! I tried to explain that mommy does not (and possibly never had) the skills needed to do ANY of the required moves for gymnastics. He still thinks I can learn, bless his heart!


  7. So equally hooked on the Games! (and my family SOOO not so!)

    Thank you for 'fessing up! ;)

  8. I am obsessed with everything. I even have started TiVo'ing the stuff on during the day so I can skim through it when I get home. Then I stay up to 11 ish trying to watch one more event when I know i have to get up at 5 am to go to work. I think the Olympics just migt kill me. I love the sync. diving and the swimming. I am looking forward to the track and field events starting friday as well. I have ut all planned out. Glad to hear I'm not the only one. NBC must love all of us.

  9. I TIVO it about a 1/2 hour into the program then I start to watch (only after I make sure there's no LIFETIME movie I need to check out). Because I have recorded some of it, I can fast forward through "cycling" and other sports that don't hold my interests. For some reason at this Olympics I have watch with AWE the synchronized diving....How do they do that? I find it all at once STUPID and really COOL.
    ...but I can think like that cuz I'm a freakshow Gemini.

  10. Too funny, Aimee.

    I'm loving the swimming too, although, I admit I have only seen about three meets -- hubbie is boycotting NBC for their liberal news (like they care) and I don't care enough to go to another room.

    I love Michael Phelp -- I've already decided he must be a really nice Catholic boy, although I have no idea. I think he sleeps like a baby, too -- literally -- like 15 hours a day.

    And if you feel old, girl, I can tell you I was a teen when Nadia won the gold and in college when Mary Lou was a winner -- I am old!

  11. I can't watch, either, but my husband won't indulge me - he actually lies to make me watch and then laughs when I gasp and cover my eyes again. I spent a good part of the women's 400- meter relay alternately hopping around behind the sofa chanting "I can't watch I can't watch" and then hiding my face in the bathroom door frame.

    I also noticed how the beach volleyball bottoms are barely there. They have to superglue those things to their bodies to keep them from moving. Or at least, I would have to superglue it to my body. If I tried to put on anything like that it would roll down at the top, leaving a muffin-top of tummy flab hanging over the top of it, and then it ride up my nether regions until it was virtually invisible. That's why I don't play beach volleyball, I guess.


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