Friday, August 15, 2008

Lucky Seven

Dear Michael,

I just want to say that you seem like such a nice boy, and you are obviously a tremendously talented swimmer. I read an article where you called your mother your hero, and I love to see her face in the stands when you win medal. Such a nice family.

However, could you please remember that halfway around the world there is a neurotic 30-something housewife watching you swim your way into the record books? I have been rooting for you since the beginning, so I know you will take my concerns to heart.

The race tonight? The 100 meter fly? Well dear Lord, I nearly stroked out. 1/100th of a second is close, my friend. I may be sharing too much, but I've had four children and I don't know if my bladder can withstand that kind of stress anymore. Plus, you are totally ruining my cute highlights, what with my hair turning white from watching you swim.

I know you are busy winning more medals than anyone else on the planet, but if you could go back to winning by larger margins, something more along the lines of a body length or more, I would be very appreciative.

Your fan,


  1. You are TOO funny! I just love reading your posts....they make me smile! Good thing MP is almost done so you can regain your hair color.
    Mary S.

  2. That WAS an amazing race, wasn't it? He absolutely stole it, that bad boy! Good for him.

  3. That was SUCH an exciting finish!

    I didn't see the beginning of the race because I was on the phone - although I had given explicit instructions to come get me when Michael was swimming! But boy, oh boy, was that close! Pop-Pop and I were standing in the middle of the living room holding our collective be honest I thought he lost at first. Whew! Numero 7!

    But to be fair...I did kinda feel bad for Milorad Cavic...If I were him, I would kicking myself in the butt next time and chanting "Next time - you punch the darn wall!!"

    Olympic Love - The Juje

  4. Hysterical post...regretfully (or maybe thankfully) I only saw the news he'd won on the ticker...not the race itself.

    1/100th is scandalously close! Yee gads!

    Greying along with you in Virginia...

  5. Last race tonight. Sanity can again be had. Cranky/tired moms everywhere rejoice. As do their children.

  6. I screamed when the computerized strip unfolded to show that Michael had won in spite of being behind through much of the race. My husband- shot me a look like "What's up with you?" He was SO convinced Michael had come in 2nd. It was a tense tense moment my friend.
    I'm tired from it.
    Maybe more tired than Michael.
    I agree.
    He needs to work harder.
    He's a slacker.


Go ahead and say it. You know you want to.