Short answer: I don't know. Long answer: I still don't know. It sounds like a cop out, I know. How can the author not know what's happening with the story? I don't know what to tell you. Late this summer, instead of being the creative outlet it once was, the blog became like a millstone around my neck.
After leaving the blog alone for a few weeks, I could see two major reasons for my burnout.
The wretched schedule. I don't know how well you can see it, but this is a picture of our September calendar. I actually stopped writing things on the calendar because I was running out of room and it was depressing me.
My kids are not in multiple activities. I would not call them over scheduled, but I found that most coaches/instructors look at you like you have three heads if you say that a practice schedule is too much because it cuts into family time.
I think that's what made the schedule feel so onerous. There was very little time for us to be a family together, and it made me sad. Even Sunday, the day of rest, was cross country meet day. For a CYO team!
I felt crushed and rushed and drained by the schedule.
This is what my baby looked like when I began this blog:
This is what that baby looks like now:
I have been blogging for 7 years.
Maybe you didn't catch that. I have been blogging for SEVEN YEARS.
I've made four more people in that time. I think it's fair to say I was (am?) experiencing a little ennui.
Sometimes, I just don't know what I want out of this blog. What am I trying to communicate here? I don't home school; I don't homestead; I don't farm (or even garden very well); I don't know how to craft anything (except people, apparently).
When I started this blog, Francie was still young. She was the same age Sally is now, an age where I felt I could comfortably share her funny, sweet little stories. Now both Francie and Fiver have passed that invisible border between childhood and adolescence. I can't tell everything about them now - they have to tell it themselves, in their own ways.
But then, while I was changing my template around, I spent some time going through my archives. I went back to the beginning. There were so many sweet things about the children that I have already forgotten, with only a post to remind me, and I found myself very glad that I wrote them down.
So I think I'll keep going for a little while longer. Maybe not until Sally turns 14 (!!!!!), but definitely a little while longer.
|In 7 more years, she will be 9. |