Thanks for the lovely and supportive comments on my last post. I do appreciate them, especially since Rob came home from work, hugged me, and said, "You sounded so sad in your last post."
Really? I thought I sounded fairly neutral with a slight upbeat undertone. I haven't been crazy about how Lent has gone, but I realize that it's largely a situational problem right now. Is that too sad?
Does the fact that I thought I sounded nearly chipper and my husband thought I sounded like a Zoloft commercial tell you something? I told Rob that I wasn't feeling sad when I wrote that post, I was just trying to be honest.
And in all honesty, I can't say that I feel sad. Tired, yes. Cranky, check. Lonely, occasionally. Overwhelmed, outmanned, and outmaneuvered, frequently. But not sad.
But, but, but . . . if what I write comes out sounding like that, then am I sad and I don't know it? Maybe 3 months postpartum is not the right time to accurately assess your own mental status? Eh, I'll figure it out.
What I do know is that I miss writing here, and I miss the community that I had built before I stopped writing here so regularly. I see other bloggers and the communities they have built and I get jealous remembering that I used to have that. You know, back when I actually put stuff on this blog.
I started thinking that maybe this place had outlived its purpose. After all, I have been blogging here for nearly 7 years. SEVEN years. I was sure it couldn't be that long, but come August, it will be. Is it time to go?
What am I trying to do with this blog? Have I lost my way because I don't have a goal? Maybe, a little.
But my ultimate goal was always to have a place to chronicle all of the adventures with the wonderful people who have been gifted to me. This was a always a place for me; a place to put down memories and to start conversations with other people. I think it would be nice to try and get back to more of that.
Because of this blog, there are people out there in this country who I've never met, but I consider so dear to my heart. People who think my kids are cute and who pray for me as I do for them. People I talk about as if they are neighbors.
I'd like to keep that kind of thing going if I can.
Now, I was going to end this post with a long overdue installment of "The Doctor Is In," but I can't. Do you know why? Because Rob said something funny at dinner and my brain is incapable of remembering anything from longer than 20 minutes ago. In fact, Rob always teases me and says, "write it down! I cannot replicate this genius!" And I always swear I'll remember it.
Heh. I'd like to say "lesson learned," but let's face it, is it really learned? Probably not.