The Doctor Is In

We are home from a brief trip to Annapolis and we are gearing up for our annual beach trip, which means I am making lists and forcing the children wear their rattiest clothes so their real clothes will be ready for the trip.

I am also not buying or cooking any real food until we leave.  It's always an adventure.

I'll come back to tell you about our Annapolis jaunt, which is the closest thing we'll get to spontaneous travel for the next 75 years, but until then . . . .  the doctor will see you now:

• After hurting my back on the hotel mattress that was officially named the "Heavenly Bed":

           Maybe you aren't ready for the Heavenly Bed.  Maybe you need to spend more time in our
           Purgatory Bed at home. *

• After asking him to check the garlic bread that was in the top section of our double oven. I call it the "upper oven":

           Ah, the upper oven. Where the bread assembled for fear of the Jews. **

* I do not consider sleeping in my marital bed to be Purgatory.  Only when one of the children decides to crash there.

** There is no person or foodstuff in this house that is actually afraid of the Jews.  We just dig the Bible humor. 

Dad, you crack me up.