Monday, October 17, 2011

Mommy's Done Gone Around the Bend

Yep, yep.  Still here.  Still busy.  Just like the rest of humanity.

I haven't been feeling the blog lately (no, really?!) but I just had to answer Colleen's call to come clean about the bad mommy moments we all have.  Except she calls them REAL mommy moments because she is nicer than me.

She was so sweet and earnest when she divulged her low points, but I found myself thinking, "Really?  That doesn't seem so bad to me.  Oh crap, I am truly awful."

Actually, I don't think I am truly awful, but I have had a summer full of REAL(ly bad) mom moments so maybe it's just a cumulative effect kind of thing I'm feeling.  Yeah, let's go with that explanation.  Definitely. 

I do think it's important to be honest, and that means sometimes going "warts and all" in public.  I know that there have been times when I have been just as inspired by a mom saying, "I am screwing this up royally!!" as a mom who has all her mojo working for her.  Because that is life with kids.  Sometimes you are on FIRE and sometimes you are just going down in flames.

And like Colleen says, if anything, this list might make you feel really good about yourself today!

ONE

Baby is a puker.  I am talking BIG TIME, people.  I change her clothes/my shirt/her sheets multiple times.  A DAY.   She has reflux and we haven't put her on any medicine because I just don't see the need for it.  She is so happy, not fussy at all, gaining weight like a prize fighter, and the reflux will disappear as she sits up more and starts solid food.

But still.  The spit up is apocalyptic and I am not kidding.  I don't even use burp cloths because they are too small.  I go straight for whole receiving blankets.  And to top it off, I'm convinced that she likes to save it up for public places for the highest ick factor.  

At the doctor's office while everyone is admiring her cute outfit?  Check.  In the grocery store checkout line where they had to get a mop? Check.  In my hair, down the back of my shirt and all over the pew at church?  Check, check, check.

You would think that since she's our sixth kid and we also experienced this with Fiver that I would roll with it?  Uh, no.  I find myself over-explaining on a daily basis.  "Oh it's reflux.  I'm so sorry! She has bad reflux.  REEE-FLUX!!!!"

Also?  After a particularly bad episode I have been known to look at my baby and say something along the lines of, "SERIOUSLY?!  You needed to do that on the THIRD shirt I've worn today?!  STOP PUKING!!"

Now if that is not a patented cure for reflux in infants, then I don't know what is.   

TWO

Along the same lines as the above, I have also been known to look at Baby and say, "What. Do. You. WANT?!"  when I can't figure out why she is crying.

Because I'm the adult in this situation.

What makes it even worse is that she probably spends about .002% of her day crying.  For real.  She's a dream.

THREE

While I'm on the treadmill, I pray along with the rosary and divine mercy chaplet on my iPod.   Patterning myself after the best mother ever, right?  So good, right?!

Um, not so much, thanks to lapses in patience and maturity like this: 

"I. Am. PRAY-ing.  the.  RO-SA-RY here!!!!  STOP ARGUING!!!  If I have to stop praying and get off this treadmill there is going to be crying all over this place!!!!"

So SUPER holy.


FOUR

Last week, a small child of mine did not make it to the toilet in time.   While said child was contrite, I was irritable and annoyed at the mess since he had fooled around until it was too late, even after repeated reminders to use the bathroom.

He was very upset about his wet pants, which I knew would be enough to curb him from doing this in the future, but I still could not stop my tongue from berating him.  "I TOLD you this would happen!  When mommy says use the bathroom, then USE THE BATHROOM.  Don't wait.  Now there's a big mess."

That's what my mom calls verbal diarrhea.  Not pretty, but accurate.

FIVE

When Bun asked me to open the big storage container of trains in the playroom, I told him to pick something else to play with because I didn't feel like walking down a flight of steps.  

I've also put him off about going outside because I didn't feel like getting Mopsy and Baby all ready to go out.


SIX

Let me just say that I love Baby like crazy.  She is the sweetest little lump of babyhood ever and I wouldn't trade her for anything.

In the interest of being honest, though. . . . sometimes my OCD side still gets a little itchy that she broke the Girl-Boy  pattern we had going.

Ridiculousness, but there it is.

SEVEN

I may or may not have said these things last week:

"Okay, bye-bye and have a good day. Wait.  Are you SURE that's how you want your hair to look today?  Totally sure?"

"I quit. I don't get paid enough for this s--t"  (although in my defense I did NOT say this when any children were present.)

"I don't care if your teacher did ask you to take the cactus home, I do not want to be responsible for one more thing around here."

"No, I don't want you guys to drag out any games right now.  Fun is too messy." 



So there you go.  Some real mom moments. 

Admit it. You feel better now, don't you?  Because at least you don't have to live in a house where fun is too messy.

Care to unburden yourself of any less than stellar moments around your place?  Or, conversely, care to inspire me with what's going fabulously well in your home?  Spill it.

14 comments:

  1. Oh yeah, love this! Fun is also way too messy at our house - that's why I send my kids to preschool. And your Rosary yelling reminds me of the mornings I try to rush my kids out the door super early so I can go to morning Mass. I yell at them from the moment they wake up until the moment they are in the car. I'm thinking maybe morning Mass needs to be morning Confession. Sigh.

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  2. So...you're human. Big deal. You're not beating them, starving them, chaining them in a basement, stealing their Social Security Disability checks, neglecting them, letting them lay in bed all day, etc. I could go on. I see it everyday.

    You're human, and that's totally glorious. I believe even Mary had a moment of "Oh crap! This angel's talking to me?" But she got over that and said yes, and you always get over your momentary lapse and come back stronger. It's normal.

    And besides, I've seen Baby puke. And I've been the recipient of Baby's puke. And it is pretty often and pretty epic.

    Love you. Hang in. I'm around if you need a night off! - xo

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  3. Hang in there! I remember when my nephew had epic reflux. I would bring a full clean outfit for the whole family (even shoes) when we visited them. Don't know how my sister did it, day after day.

    I was cracking up about the getting off the treadmill thing!

    Prayers for you :)

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  4. Oh you had me laughing! I've been there many times friend, as you know. Maybe I'll write my own list.

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  5. Lisa Luciano8:27 PM

    Oh, I loved reading this! I'm not alone!! Lol!!! I HATE play-doh. Poor L always asks, and I (almost) always say no! I'm also not a fan of the big mega box of big legos- we actually keep it in the powder room, how sad is that.

    I've been trying to keep things in perspective but sometimes, too often, I yell and feel bad immediately after.

    Prayers for u!!
    -Lisa L

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  6. It's good to know that all moms have moments when the s--- hits the fan (sometimes LOTS of those moments). Baby puke, even when it's from an awesomely cute baby, is just not fun. Hope the reflux settles down soon! I also hope this coming week goes easy on you :)

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  7. If I didn't say all those things at one point I sure could have! Fun is definitely too messy in my house -- even when it's just one little mess-maker.

    I especially love:
    "I. Am. PRAY-ing.  the.  RO-SA-RY here!!!!  STOP ARGUING!!!  If I have to stop praying and get off this treadmill there is going to be crying all over this place!!!!"
    I think even the Blessed Mother could laugh about that!
    I hope you remember these puke-filled days and are able to laugh about them, Aimee. Something tells me you will!

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  8. Fun is too messy. That may be the most real thing I heard all day. Maybe the month. I couldn't agree more!

    Are you still bfing, baby/refluxer? Lil p was a refluxer. I'd feed him, he'd puke, and I'd feed him again. I got 10lbs below my pre pregnancy weight while eating bad, bad food. He was my best diet ever. On the other hand, he forced us to buy our first Hoover carpet cleaner. And he killed a washing machine. Details, details.


    Thanks for the laughs. And if it makes you feel better, I've done worse!

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  9. love it! 3 was my favorite, until I got to 6, and then there was the bumper sticker "fun is too messy".

    i'm waaaay to short, temper wise, lately. and having to remind myself that i'm the adult waaaay too often. heh.

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  10. way to come clean :) Sounds normal to me- and funny! And hey- if I'm not saying some of that already- it certainly will be repeated in the months to come!!!

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  11. Thank you for making me feel normal.

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  12. My Top 5 "bad" mommy moments

    1) "Sure you can have cake for breakfast."
    2) "DON'T BITE THE DOG OR I'M GOING TO BITE YOU!!!!"
    3) "Put your freaking toys away or I'm throwing them in the trash!" And then I actually did put a few in the trash.
    4) "Brush your teeth!" My toddler spit all over the bathroom mirror, which I had just cleaned. I tossed the hand towel at his head and just walked away.
    5) Mom. Mom. MOM. MOM! MOM!!
    "Stop calling me that! I changed my name!"
    You did?
    "Yup. And I'm running away."

    See, you're not doing too bad. Am I proud of these? No. They seem a little funny but could be pretty damaging to a small child. I have to remind myself to be patient and loving at even my worst moments.

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  13. I did a spit take on #3. Yea, totally been there. Only I would have added a curse word like "da*n" in there somewhere. Such a good Catholic girls to swear while praying... :(
    I have verbal diarrhea too. Sometimes the words come out and I wish I could take them back.
    Thanks for sharing these. We are all human and there was only one perfect mother and even she misplaced her child for a short period of time ;)

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  14. Have you been spying on me? Just about ALL of that sounds way to familiar for comfort.

    Well, not the treadmill part. I can't have one of those in my house, because no matter how many times I tell the kids not to mess with it, they will, and will inevitably be flung across the room - smack into a wall.

    It's kind of nice to know I'm not the only one with those "Oh crap, I am truly awful." moments. :)

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