Originally published July 2007 . . . way before I decided to give my kids their blog pseudonyms!
Vignette I - Good Night, Sleep Tight
Me: Goodnight, [Boy], I love you.
The Boy: Goodnight Mom. Don't worry about the noise, that's just me farting.
Vignette II - Fire and Ice
(overheard in the back of the van, one hour into the trip)
Older Girl: I am the good land of Scotland and you are the attacking land of Iceland, and I have a wall up so that you cannot come over here.
The Boy (hand outstretched): Pssht - FIRE!
Older Girl: No, I have a wall up, but you can't see it.
The Boy: Pssht - FIRE!
Older Girl: It's invisible, but there is a WALL there so you can't DO that!
The Boy: Pssht - FIRE!
Older Girl: NO, [BOY]!! I have a WALL UP . . .
The Boy: Pssht - FIRE!
Older Girl (increasingly distraught): I SAID I HAVE A WALL UP!
The Boy: Pssht - FIRE!
Older Girl: This WALL is made of thick ICE so your fire can't get through it.
The Boy: Pssht - FIRE!
Older Girl: Your fire can't melt my . . .
The Boy: Pssht - FIRE!
Older Girl: NO MORE FIRE PSSHT-ING! JUST FORGET IT! I AM LOOKING OUT THE WINDOW!
The Boy (whispering): pssht - FIRE!
Vignette III - Discriminating Taste
(while dining in the very fancy, expensive hotel restaurant)
Older Girl (to the waitress): Your service here is par excellence.
Waitress (surprised): Thank you, Miss. We aim to please.
Older Girl: Well, you hit the mark at this place.
Vignette IV - How You Doin'?
(after a nice woman held the hotel door for us)
The Boy: Thank you, Ma'am.
Woman: Oh, you're welcome.
The Boy (looking her up and down slowly): Hmm. You look good.
Woman (flustered): Um . . . thank you very much.
Vignette V - So Many Choices, So Little Time
(while traveling out in the boonies)
Me: We need to find a place to eat, the kids are hungry.
Rob: Okay, let's drive around town and see what we can find.
Me: I don't think we should do fast food again. Let's try to find something halfway decent.
(we keep driving, driving, and driving, until we end up back where we started)
Rob: Well, where does this leave us - besides in Shanty Town?
Me: As far as I can see, we can pick the Whippy-Dip or we can go with Mr. Chicken or we can try something different and go for Kool's Carry-Out, Car Wash, and Dog Wash, although I'm not exactly sure what we'd be carrying out of there.
Rob: M*cDonald's it is.
Vignette VI - There's No Place Like Home
(upon arriving at the hotel)
Me: Wow, isn't this a nice place to stay?
The Boy: Yep! Can we go home now?
I too...love coming home.
ReplyDeleteThese are simply priceless. So glad you immortalized them via blog. :)
ReplyDeleteEspecially like the "don't worry about the noise..." ;)
TOO cute.
Aimee, I laughed out loud at these -- but that last one was just the bottom line. Vacations are nice, but home is really the best.
ReplyDeleteThis comment has been removed by the author.
ReplyDelete