Thursday, September 20, 2007

A Child By Any Other Pseudonym . . .

Lately, several people have pointed out the potential shortcomings of the pseudonyms I've chosen for my children. If this baby is a girl, then Baby Girl gets bumped from her place as youngest girl, and I don't particularly relish calling her Number Two Girl or Next to Last Child or Used-to-be-Baby Girl. Not only are they unflattering, but they are super long to type. And we all know I'm too lazy for that. If this baby is a boy, then technically we could still call The Boy by that name, but then what would the baby be? Baby Boy? The Other Boy? You can see the limitations.

The truth is that I've never been happy with the kids' aliases, and I have been trying to think of replacements for some time. I've always felt that their names lacked any imagination or flair; their monikers simply denote their birth order, not their personalities. I tried to remember why I picked out such bland names for the children, given the fact that I used to read baby name books before I was married. I have always loved names and their origins, so why did I saddle them with perhaps the most non-descript names I could find?

It boils down to this: I didn't know how long I would be hanging around in Blogville. I didn't think that anyone would come here (besides family members), and I figured I would either become too busy with the children to keep up with this, or that my technological ineptitude would give me an ulcer and I would be forced to stop. It was my Blogville version of Medieval baby-naming: you never want to whip out the really good names until you're sure that your baby won't get the Plague or some other nasty thing.

Since I'm hopelessly addicted to reading blogs still here and I haven't blown up the computer, I figured that it's time to take the plunge and pull out the really good names.

Except that I don't have any really good names . . .

Rob thought about naming them based on their personality traits. Sweet nicknames like Master of Disaster, The Destructor, Horseman of the Apocalypse, etc. And while they may be accurate at times, they are still too long for my lazy fingers. Not to mention that they sound too much like Transformers. What does that make the new baby? Optimus Prime?

In all of this brainstorming, I thought it might be helpful to ask the children for their opinions. After explaining to them the need for nicknames on the blog, they excitedly started throwing possibilities out from the back of the van.

Ooo, ooo, ooo . . . . How about Princess Starlightia the Unicorn?

I want to be called Thomas the Train. Or Sir Topham Hatt. Or Bertie the Bus.

I changed my mind. You could call me Princess Pegasus.

I changed my mind, too. I want to be called just Train.

I guess you could call me just Pegasus, but if you're not going put the "Princess" in front, then maybe you should call me Starlightia since that sounds better than Pegasus.


Umm . . . very creative suggestions guys, but I was kind of hoping to name you after characters from books that our family loves. Can you think of any books that you might like to borrow your name from?

[the silence is deafening]

So their suggestions were slightly less than helpful.

Rob and I have managed to come up with some very suitable character nicknames for the children, as well as some non-literary based nicknames, but I am not in love with any of them right now. I don't know if I will grow fonder of them in time, or if I just haven't found the right ones.

Either way, I'm open for suggestions -- and I'm hoping they are more helpful than the kids'.


  1. you could use names from your ethnic heritage, like you could call the boy Bruce (for Robert the Bruce), or something fun to type but utterly unpronounceable like Cymrdyth. Wait. that wasn't fun to type.

    I like Starlighta though.

  2. I couldn't find Starlighta, but Starlight has
    been used before.

  3. Patron Saint names?

  4. Theme names are good - it narrows things down a bit. I personally advise against names that come with a definite article - I often waste valuable seconds hesitating over whether I should say "Pie" or "the Pie."

  5. You could always use their real names and pretend that they're pseudonyms.

  6. I assume you gave these children middle names?


  7. Starlighta is pretty... and not too hard to type. I like Train for The Boy... think The Little Engine That Could! Off the top of my head, I'd use Sunshine for Baby Girl... but there's no book reference there... I'll keep thinking.

  8. OH! For The Boy... kinda playing on the comment about the little engine that could. How about Engineer? For some reason that seems perfect!

  9. I chose names for my first two based on their favorite foods and then it became a theme.

    Though seriously, Train and Princess aren't bad for blognames. They convey something about the kids.

    Favorite presidents? Motown recording artists? Classic cars? Birth months? Simple, easy-to-type three-letter words?

  10. how about the beatles?
    older girl could be george- the artist and poet
    the boy could be john- often misunderstood
    baby girl could be paul- the "cute" one
    and the new baby could be ringo...
    just a thought, but mostly a joke.


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