We've Got To Get Out of This Place

Well, the time has come, my friends; it's time for the annual Family Vacation. This year we are taking a road trip that combines children-centered fun with stops at sites important to American history. I know this itinerary is not shocking to those who know us - we take this kind of trip every year in an effort to not have our children caught on Jay Leno saying that the tenth president of the United States was Chester Cheetah.

We will hit the sites of Baltimore, mostly the Inner Harbor/Aquarium, Mt. Vernon, and then, as an added twist this year, we will be heading to a swanky resort and spa on Maryland's eastern shore. I know nothing says resort like three wild kids, but Rob will be speaking at a conference and they are paying for the hotel. So while Rob is enlightening his fellow medical professionals on Prenatal Care and Pediatric Rashes, I will be chasing rich women from the infinity pool with my own three pediatric rashes darling angels. Good times, my friends.

I will be going dark for a few days, since I have many obligations to fulfill in my role as Chief Executive Packer for the HomeFront Corp. I take my duties very seriously, since my employees depend on me to provide them with every imaginable creature comfort of home. Haven't touched the stuffed otter under the bed in at least six months, but finding it impossible to sleep in the hotel without it? No worries, it's in the duffel bag. Need to sleep in the shirt that used to belong to your father even though it is too big and falls off your shoulder and you hate that and you wake up in the middle of the night crying because your shoulder is sticking out and your arms are trapped? Never fear, it's folded there at the bottom of the bed.

I have mounds of laundry to do before packing, because taking dirty clothes on vacation is not the way to go. Oh, and don't forget the obligatory Pre-Vacation trip to Wally World for Things We Need, like diapers and first aid ointment, and Things We Don't Need But Are 97 cents and May Buy Us Five Minutes of Silence, like tootsie pops and pinwheels.

This is what I will be about for the next few days, and I will miss you all, but take heart: Swanky Eastern Shore Resort and Spa, and even Not Very Swanky But Much More Practical Hotel in Baltimore will have wireless and we will have a laptop. Oh, the joys of technology! I can check in on all you dear ones, and I may even write a post or two on location. It's all the rage in Blogville these days. I even thought about hitting up my archives for a post or two that could bridge the gap, so maybe you will get to see how awfully humdrum the early posts were. As opposed to now, where I write about my life on the edge.

I'll leave you with the sentiments I leave with my children when they are staying home with a babysitter:

Be kind to one another, help each other out, be on your best behavior, and you may have ice cream before you go to bed.