Our internet service is still sketchy, but the reports of the death of our modem were greatly exaggerated.
After a bit of back and forth with our internet company, it turns out that it is not our much maligned modem's fault at all. It is actually a problem with our phone service provider and some special part that has to do with internet connectivity (like my industry buzzword?). A problem that they have been trying to fix for three weeks without any kind of success and for which they have no estimated date of success.
So while the phone folks are huddled in their remote think tank, us locals are frequently dumped off the internet without warning. It is very random and very annoying.
And it just happened again, for crying out loud. Auto-save is my best friend these days.
All of this is, of course, completely first world and suitably Lenten. It can a be a very good thing for all my internet browsing and coveting to be abruptly curtailed. I've had a lot of rambling comments, whiny Facebook updates, and Pinterest pins get cut off mercilessly, and I'm sure it's better that way. For the state of my soul and the world at large.
So far, my Lent has been . . . interesting. I'm definitely more in tune with the season this year. Last year, I was hugely pregnant and just trying not to go off the deep end. In my perpetually agitated state, I seemed to feel like my entire existence was a sacrifice, so I didn't over think Lent.
This year, though, it's back to the grindstone, but in a good way. I have given up some things that have been harder for me to release than I thought, and I have been struggling with some ugly feelings lately.
I've been feeling, for a long time really, that I just want to get away for a little while and take a break. Get myself some of that ubiquitous "me" time that makes everyone a better person. It seems like a lot of my friends have done that recently and it has really refreshed and energized them.
But for me and for my family, the truth is that I really need to put up and shut up right now.
One of the things that I love about the blogging company I keep is the tendency for all of us to offer words of encouragement to one another. Most of us don't like to see a mom beating herself up about the job she's doing.
But let's be honest: we know when we haven't handed in our best work. We usually realize that we deserved that C even if our friends are telling us that a C really isn't so bad. Lent is supposed to hold the magnifying glass to the squirmy parts of your life in the fervent hope that you'll do everything you can to make them better.
So, all those times when I get annoyed with the kids and the house and then I have to admit it's because of a marked lack of preparation and effort on my part? Yeah, that's when I need to own that C.
I know I will get to take a break sometime, but not now. Lent is the time for dirty work.
(But let's be clear, when it's finally time for some cutting loose, girlfriend here is going to be so ready.)