One:

Let's start this list with a question, shall we? Oh wait, that was a question right there. Shoot.

What I really want to know is do any of you homemakers out there have a bread machine that you recommend, or do you tough it out and do all the work yourselves?

I'd like to start making our own bread, but I am strangely intimidated by all yeast-related recipes. We're talking epic fail many times over.

Let's just say that I would have been your go-to gal for the unleavened bread at Passover.

But if I had a bread machine . . . well, there would be no stopping me.

Right?

Two:

A friend once told me that she liked it when I didn't clean up too much before she came to visit because it made her feel better about her own house. I laughed, but over the years I have discovered that I agree.

I like it when I drop in on friends and they have a basket of laundry in their kitchen or some dishes in the sink or stacks of shoes (preferably mismatched) at the back door. It makes me feel like I have come into a real person's home because -newsflash!- other people have laundry too!

So today, before a friend stopped over, I decided not to straighten up too much. I moved the most hazardous toys out of the front hall, but that was about it.

Guess what? We had a great time.

Three:

The van was in the shop recently, and despite my best efforts, I realized it is really next to impossible to fit four children, two of whom are in full size car seats, into a Honda Civic. Thank goodness Fiver is skinny.

The kids, however, thought riding in Daddy's car was the best thing since the invention of the wheel. It was all Sally could do to keep her itchy trigger finger off of the window button. All I heard was "zshhht, zshht" as the window went up and down about a thousand times.

That got me started thinking about why we never played around with the windows when we were kids, and I realized it was because we had to use the handle to CRANK the ding-dang things open. Not as cool.

And then that got me thinking about those lighters in the car that my Mom always let me push to heat up, and the cigarette vending machines in diner lobbies (loved those!), and rotary phones and LPs and no answering machines and those original "car phones" that were the size of bricks and came in their own briefcase (my Dad had one for his job).

And then I sniffled for the "good old days", and BLAM, I turned into my mother.

Four:

I know this is going to sound grouchy, and I also know that by admitting this I am risking expulsion from the country, but can I just say how tired I am of having eco-consciousness crammed down my throat at every turn?

I think I've talked about this before, but I consider being good stewards of our resources to be a natural part of my pro-life beliefs. To me, being pro-life means taking care of our bodies, our planet, and our neighbor; living simply and within your means; living in a non-disposable way, especially in terms of human life. It's all on loan anyway.

But it seems like every other commercial points out all the ways I could be saving the earth if only I cared enough. If I don't buy a cloth bag from my grocery store, then I am a BAD CITIZEN.

Hey, I've been doing this stuff all along! In fact, my mom had us "going green" back in the eighties when the nation practically lived on Styrofoam and no one recycled.

I don't need celebrities telling me how to save some energy or be more frugal (!). Enough with the popularity-contest brand of eco-browbeating.

Five:

We're not sending Sally to preschool in the Fall; she will be staying home and attending the prestigious HomeFront Family Academy. The curriculum is heavy on the domestic arts and hospitality industry.

I have found that most people who ask me about it are divided into two groups.

Group one contains the moms who are all "Right on sister! She doesn't need no stinkin' preschool! That's a construct by the state which makes parents feel like they are bad for not sending their kids to school. But they are BABIES, man! Good call."

And then Group Two has the moms who say things like, "Well, if you think that's best, but really she might be a little behind when she gets to kindergarten. I mean, I'm sure she's smart, but school is so COMPETITIVE now. They are really teaching material that is two grades ahead of their class, so kindergarten is really like second grade. Plus, aren't you afraid she might have trouble adjusting socially?"

I've only talked to one person who accepted the decision without comment. And that was Rob (oh I kid!).

I'd just like to say that I don't think all preschool is bad. In fact, I love preschool. It's my favorite schooling time period. Francie and Fiver both went to and enjoyed preschool tremendously. The art projects alone get me all verklempt, but I just don't think it's necessary for Sally right now.

Someone said to me, "You want to be selfish and keep her home. Good for you!"

Is it really selfish to keep my own young child with me? Am I depriving some preschool of the breathtaking wonder that is my child's mind? I don't think so.

I am her mom and I'm not ready to let her go and she's happy to be with me. I'm smart enough to know that won't last forever. Why waste it?

Maybe I'll change my mind when she's four, but the drumbeat for preschool as soon as your kid is three just chafes me a little. It might be good, but it's not everything.

And no, I don't think she'll be stunted socially. At least not any more than my other kids. She has two older siblings and a younger sibling -- I think she'll be able to navigate the educational food chain once she gets there.

In fact, she may be too social for them right now!

Six:

We are on Day Four of The HomeFront Corp. Puke Watch.

Fiver has missed four days of school, and has eaten a total of one piece of toast and half a cup of applesauce. IN FOUR DAYS.

It's wearing us all down, especially Fiver. I pray that he bounces back soon.

Seven:

I know this will make me sound old, and soon I expect you'll hear me lamenting my bursitis and worrying about those kids and the noise they call music, but when did kids start drinking coffee all the time?

I distinctly remember being told that coffee was a grown-up drink, not something that was meant for kids (and I was raised in a large Italian family that didn't think twice about putting a little vino out for everyone). As a little girl, I would imagine pouring myself a nice hot cup of coffee every morning, and I thought that was surely the most salient sign of becoming an adult.

Now I see kids younger than my own walking around with all kinds of coffee drinks. I realize that many of these drinks are more like a dessert, but they are still coffee-based.

Am I totally out of the loop? Does everyone give their kids coffee drinks now? I just don't know anymore.

Now if you'll excuse me, Grandma needs to go put some salve on her joints.

For more Quick Takes, visit Conversion Diary and have a great weekend, my friends.