Thursday, October 16, 2008

Church, Candy Corn, and Yuktoberfest! Huzzah!

I am a little late in posting our contributions to Laura's Bad Haiku Yuktoberfest, even though most of this was written last night. Sometimes I just can't get it together, you know?

I went to Mass this morning, since it was being offered for my dear friend Sarah who passed away this summer, and I guess if you are going to be behind the eight ball for any reason, Mass is the best one.

Weekday Mass is about ten thousand times more quiet than Sunday Mass, and I was worried about the two little ones because Bun woke up on the wrong side of the crib. He was grumpy and whiny and generally unpleasant, so I sat near the back in case I needed to make a dash for the vestibule.

As he was lying across my lap, wiggling and whining, he was suddenly still and looked away from me, towards the altar and far up into the rafters of our church. He broke into a big grin and said, clear as a bell, "Hi, Dada."

Now, Bun makes all kinds of baby noises and babbles quite a bit, but none of it has ever sounded as clear and like language as this morning. All I can say is that the hairs on my arms rose up, my friends. From the mouths of babes . . .

In other, more mundane news, I have decided that I cannot keep a pretty house with these children. You might think that I had come to this conclusion long ago, but each season I get back into the decorating saddle and try again. And each season I hit the dirt.

All quiet on the candy corn front. For now.

Case in point, my cute Halloween centerpiece. I saw this idea in a magazine, and I copied it with what I had on hand. I thought it was genius because Rob and I hate candy corn, so we would not eat our own centerpiece. (That is just a sad, sad admission right there, my friends.)

Unfortunately, I did not figure on the children liking candy corn. Fiver and Sally are now addicted to it, as evidenced by the fingerprints on the hurricane lamp and the ever lower level of candy corn in the dish.

I have even had to slap their hands away from taking a candy corn when the candle was lit. It is a sorry state of affairs when the members of your household resort to eating your home decor at the risk of life and limb.

Candy corn thief! You can tell by the shifty eyes.

And now, finally, because you know we are powerless to resist the siren song of the bad haiku, our entries for Yuktoberfest:

Rob's Trio of Bad Haiku:

The headless horseman
Stopped trick or treating since he
Can't use his pie hole


Why does my pumpkin
Look like a rotund orange piece
Of Swiss? Poor technique


As your loving dad
It is my job to levy
The chocolate tithe


Aimee's Trio of Bad Haiku:

"Trick or treating" when
You are sixteen and shaving
Is called robbery


Please don't try to say
That your extra pillowcase
Is for your "sister"


Is it really bad
That I keep the chocolate
And give out raisins?


Our weather here promises to be perfectly autumnal in its crisp, cool, brightness, so we will be out and about, inflicting our own brand of confusion on unsuspecting citizens everywhere.
Hope you enjoy the weekend as well, my friends!


  1. Lovin' those bad Haikus!

    I have to admit the thing with Bun in church is a bit eerie or otherworldly. With my past experience I would have had to pull out the cell phone right away to call the babe's daddy to make sure he wasn't in a car accident or something like that. Rob is fine, right?

  2. At least you are trying. I have never had a centerpiece on my table, unless you count napkins and stray artwork. The candy corn centerpiece looks great. I don't like that candy either. Kids will eat anything. Love the haikus.

    I just realized my sentences got shorter and more mundane throughout my comment. I have no excuses for it.

  3. Love the bad Haiku! The fact that you have enough brain cells to do ANY decorating AND write poetry of any kind is quite amazing to me, and I must say, I am in awe of you right now!

  4. I loved your sixteen and shaving haiku...and the pillowcase one. Both are so true!!! Genius.

  5. nice haikus.

    I see you live in the Lehigh Valley...I'm a Lafayette alum, lived in Allentown, married at St. Elizabeth of Hungary...good times, good times.

  6. Oh I'm SO with you...candy corn is terrible!

    And I totally laughed out loud at the 16 and shaving Haiku :)

  7. AIMEE! I just blogged about bad haiku, inspired by yoru last, and find this??? TOOO funny. And I'm witht eh kids- would eat the candy corn even with a lit flame ;)

  8. I was so frustrated today because for whatever reason, my computer would not let me go to your blog. I would try and then it would freeze. So here I am FINALLY and of course it was well worth the wait.
    My kinda humor.

    (I think Nicole was catching the BAD HAIKU FEVER and she didn't know's magical like that.)

  9. Aimee, these are the best! Every one is a hoot!

  10. 1. I've been praying for Sarah's family, and think of you and them often.

    2. And Bun? GAH! I've got goosebumps, too. How amazing is that?

    3. I love that your family eats your decor. I'm so glad I'm not the only one around that must protect literally everything in sight.

  11. Most excellent Bad Hailkus!

  12. Anonymous6:36 PM

    I am going to bribe Fiver to bring me candy corn on Sunday! :)

    Love the pics, love the stories, love the haikus!

    -LisaL (google does not like my pwords...ever) very frustrating!

  13. that is so funny!!!

    After weeks of begging, I finally went to Tar-jay and picked up some white spider-webby stuff and a large black spider. The kids and I stretched the white stuff over the hedges in front of the house and stuck the spider in the middle of it. It's awesome. And the decorations were on sale!

  14. I'm telling you, Little Brother and Fiver would have a blast together! They even share an addiction for candy corn. Little Brother told me last week that it's his favorite kind of corn :)

  15. OMG, my husband would die laughing. He absolutely loves the word piehole. Because he's 12.


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