The Candy Man

Oh, I thought I was so slick this week. But slick has never been my strong suit, so I should have known better.

I had to send a dozen candy-filled plastic eggs in to Fiver's school for their egg hunt, as well as a few bags of donated candy for our church's egg hunt this Saturday, so I bought a couple of big bags of assorted chocolates at Tar-jhay last week. I knew I had to get that candy out of my possession fast, or I would scuttle my two weeks of hard work at Weight Watchers in a matter of minutes.

Because I have no self control, I filled all of the plastic eggs with my very favorite pieces of chocolate, capped them, tied them off in a plastic bag, and then locked them in a safe and threw it to the bottom of the river. (Okay, I didn't throw the safe in the river, but I did have to remind myself not to pilfer chocolate from a preschooler. Repeatedly. Clearly I have no shame.)

There were still a few pieces of candy left in the bag. Danger Will Robinson! Even though they weren't my favorites, I have never let something that trivial stop me from eating chocolate. Don't judge me, but since I have been known to pick wrapped food out of the trash, I took the bag and threw it in the outside trash can with all the ripe diapers. Angels wept, but my hips were safe.

When I picked Fiver up from school today, he could not stop talking about the egg hunt. There! were! so! many! eggs! full! of! candy! He proudly showed me all of the eggs he collected in his basket.

Can you guess what was in the basket?

Of course you can.

My darling child had gone through and picked up all of the eggs we donated. All of the eggs filled with my favorite candy.

Those eggs came back to me like a Fat Boomerang.

You know what they say: If you love something, let it go. If it comes back to you, eat it. Right?

Thank goodness that it is still Lent. Maybe by not eating this candy I can make up for the shoddy Lent I've had so far. Most of it went by in a blur, and I can't blame it all on Bun. I've just been out of it on so many levels.

I plan to scale things back during the Triduum; to keep things quieter and (hopefully) holier.

As Francie said after her class finished watching a movie on Jesus' life, death, and resurrection: "I liked the end - it was really good!" I need to focus on getting to "the really good" part.

To tide you over until I return with the mediocrity you've come to rely on, you must check this out. All I'm going to say is make sure you are not eating, drinking, or sitting around with a full bladder. Don't say I didn't warn you. (h/t to Bun's godmother.)

See you in a bit, my friends.