Wednesday, October 10, 2007

An Offer She Can't Refuse

The following is a true story, and an excellent illustration of how crazy we are:

This morning I was awoken by the panicky voice of Older Girl.

Mom, this is the first morning of winter uniform and I don't have any winter gym uniform pants! I only have shorts!

I stumbled out of bed, sure that she must have a pair of navy blue sweatpants with the school logo on them somewhere in her room.

No dice. As I was rifling through her drawers, it occurred to me that we had given her old gym pants away and when we had gone to get her new ones they were out of her size. It wouldn't have been a problem if I had actually gone back to the store later as I had originally intended.

But I never made it back to the store and now she was pant-less. Crap.

So as she was hyperventilating in the hallway, I told her to put on her gym shorts and I would send a note to her teacher explaining the problem. I assured her it would be fine.

After everyone was seated at the table eating breakfast, Rob and I had this conversation:

Honey, [OG] has no gym pants and it is the first day of winter uniform, so could you bring me my purse from the van?

[Rob comes in with purse]

Why do you need your purse?

My notepad is in here and I need to write a note to Mrs. C. about the uniform.

Oh, good. Because I thought you were going to just offer her a bribe.


You know, like - "Dear Mrs. C., Maybe we can just make this little misunderstanding go away. Love, Mrs. L."

Honey, I only have three dollars in my wallet for God's sake.

She's a Catholic school teacher! How much can she make?! All I'm saying is that she might be willing to let a lot of things slide for the price of a hot lunch.


  1. LOL! I have to say, I've never considered bribing the teachers when I've had to write notes like that. Wonder if my husband ever thought of it? Maybe it's a guy thing.

  2. The first day Primo had Gym it was so hot and all I could find were his sweatpants! I sent him to school in his sweats and had to look all over the house for the shorts.

  3. Haha! That's one that I haven't tried. Desperate times call for desperate measures, my friend.

  4. Hey, there are a lot of things I might let slide for a whole THREE DOLLARS!

  5. That's classic -I never would have thought to bribe the teacher so blatently. I like to bribe them from the beginning with goodies for the classroom and that kind of stuff so when I do need something to slide by I already have an in ;)

    Winter uniform starts for us on Monday - guess I will be making sure we have everything we need this weekend!

  6. Anonymous9:27 AM

    My poor OG. I know her stomach was in knots.I got the same way when I couldn't find my beanie (very old Catholic schoolgirls know what I'm talking about...)

  7. I remember scouring the house for different pieces of my uniform throughout my school days. Picking the nicest smelling, least wrinkly jumper or skirt out of the laundry basket. Digging through my closet floor to figure out where my cardigan was hiding. Wearing blue socks to gym class because I forgot the white ones at home.

    Then we got to high school and left our gym uniforms sit in our lockers twice per year just to get out of class. Or dragging the maroon cardigan out of my locker because I left my letter sweater at home.

    But the beauty of knowing exactly what to wear 5 days of the week. College was pure torture because I had to pick out my outfits every day!

    Even now I have to plan what I am going to wear to work the night before or else I will end up standing in my closet wrapped in a towel staring at the clothing thinking "what do I wear today?"
    Will the sweater be too hot? If I wear my tan coords with the brown sweater and the pants get dirty do I have any pants that will go with my orange blouse for tomorrow? Or should I just wear the orange blouse today? Sometime I think about becoming a flight attendant just so I have a uniform to wear for work! (I used to think about nursing but scrubs come in so many prints and colors any more it would still be too much!)

  8. Wow! That was a long comment.

  9. why didn't you just write her a check?

  10. That is too funny! Thanks for making me laugh.

  11. Anonymous8:34 PM

    Not that I would have ever taken bribes from parents or students, but Rob is right on the money with his estimation. I used to say (as a catholic school teacher) my salary doesn't even allow me to afford to the toy that goes with the happy meal!


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