Tuesday, December 12, 2006

What Not to Wear

Oh, the scourge of back-fat! You know what I'm talking about. If you don't have it yourself (get away from me), then you've seen it on someone else (like me) and you've been relieved you don't have it. It's that little roll that likes to poke out from just under the bra line, making you look a little lumpy under your clothes. I have been (unsuccessfully) looking for a dress for my cousin's wedding, (which is on Saturday, so time's a-wastin' here), and I am starting to think I might never find something I like. Heck, I don't even have to like it, as long as the back-fat problem is taken care of. I have nothing in my closet that would be appropriate for a wedding, unless it is a wedding where the guests could don oversized t-shirts, sports bras, and flare-leg yoga pants. (Because if that is the case, then I'm in like flynn). It is a tricky place, the closet of a postpartum woman who has been a stay-home mom for the bulk of her married life. I don't have any "business" clothes, no lovely suits or skirts, because they are impractical for my life. I would never get a chance to wear them, so I don't buy them. Instead, the drawers are laden with jeans, t-shirts, exercise pants, a few sweaters and button down shirts, and one nice pair of "church slacks." (People at church have probably started thinking that I only own one pair of pants because it's all they ever see on me.) Most of the time, it doesn't bother me too much because I am too busy cleaning toilets or folding laundry to notice, but then comes a fashion crisis like a wedding, and I can easily see the gaping holes in my wardrobe.
And since I don't relish trying on clothes with three kids keeping me company in the dressing room (not since the time a few years ago that Older Girl said my stomach looked like it was "folded" in the front, anyway) I only have Thursday to find "the dress." Rob is coming home a little early so I can run out before I have to go to choir practice. At least the stores won't be busy and there will be plenty of convenient, well-lit parking.
Wish me luck -- if I find something half decent, I'll post it here. If you don't see any pictures, you'll know I decided to go with my blue yoga pants and the US Navy t-shirt that says, "Got Freedom?"


  1. In my city, yoga wear is considered couture, so you'd fit right in. And the back fat - have you heard of spanx undershirts? They compress that back fat like nobody's business!

  2. I didn't know they made undershirts! Can I get a whole case of them?


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