Thursday Thirteen #4

Thirteen Completely Random Things about me and/or my family 1. When preparing a sandwich, I always take a bite out of it before I put away all the ingredients just in case it totally sucks and needs immediate remediation. Sandwiches are tricky, you can never be too careful. 2. Rob has a code language that I quickly learned to translate once we were married. My first lesson was this: When Rob says "We'll see . . .", it may sound like he wants time to think about a decision, carefully weighing any pros and cons. Wrong. "We'll see," actually means "No way in hell." 3. When I take a shower, I make sure any magazines with people on the cover are facing away from me. Rationally, I know that they can't really see me, but I still don't like to haul my jiggly butt out of the shower to be greeted by the hooded and glittering eyes of George Clooney. Sorry George, I don't even let Rob see my jiggly butt coming out of the shower. 4. Getting a drivers' license in Florida is insanely easy. I got my license in Pensacola shortly after I was married, and even before I took the permit test they were willing to let me just get out on the road for the license test and wing it because I was over 18. I think if you are breathing they'll let you take a stab at it. I even got a gift certificate for free pizza because I put my seatbelt on without being told to do it. Gotta love that. 5. Rob and I almost cooked ourselves once. Yep, you read that correctly. While living in Florida, we decided to take a road trip (in July) to Houston to see my aunt (and Rob's sister, who was there working at a theater for a few weeks). We started the trip at dawn, when it was just uncomfortably sticky, but not face-of-the-sun hot, and so we were relatively unconcerned about the fact that our truck had no air conditioning (Rob bought it in NY, where the summer heat doesn't even come close to FL or TX, and we were too poor to get A/C once we moved to FL). Our first inkling of peril should have been when we stopped for the first time at a rest stop in Louisiana, and the heat was so intense that it felt like someone wrapped us in a hot, wet, wool blanket. But we pressed on. Once we got to the belt way around Houston, we started to feel a little sleepy and light-headed, and then we hit the traffic. (Did I mention that we were going through Houston at 3:30 on a Friday afternoon?) As we were sitting there on the highway, I looked out and saw one of those big time/temperature boards on a bank sign. It was 110 degrees. We were sitting in a giant, dark green metal box on the highway with no air moving (cool or otherwise), just sweating out all the liquids in our bodies. We were roasting, literally. We can laugh about it now, but now we also have A/C, so that makes it easier. 6. But on the bright side, we got the cheapest gas of our married lives on that trip. 75 cents a gallon!! We still aren't convinced that it was pure gasoline. We called it Uncle Bob's Gasohol. But it still got us all the way home. 7. Rob is from NY and I am from PA, and we have a long running "discussion" about the correct way to wait for something. Rob insists that the proper way to describe this action is to "Wait on line, " while I maintain that you are not on the computer or standing on a line on the ground, you are simply lining up with other people, therefore you are "in line." It's almost as heated as the great Jimmies/Sprinkles debate. 8. Rob always says that in our house there is the wrong way and there is the Aimee way to do something. Guess which one we use? . . . . 9. I covet and hoard office supplies. I love a new, clean notebook, and school supply shopping makes me euphoric. My palms get a little itchy with excitement when I go into Staples or Office Depot, and I am always on the hunt for the perfect pen: smooth flowing ink, not too stubby, not too fine. This doesn't make me weird, does it? 10. I think there might be nicotine in Weight Watchers Chocolate Chip Cookie Dough Sundae cups. That's the only way to explain why I am so freakishly addicted to them. I don't even think they are made with real ice cream, which would usually be a total non-starter for me, but I crave them nonetheless, plastic ice cream and all. 11. I swear like a longshoreman, and Rob never does. We always thought it was funny that Rob was the sailor in family, but I swore like one. Just picking up the slack. 12. I get annoyed when Rob comes home from work and falls asleep early on the couch. I don't know why, because God knows he works like a dog and deserves some sleep, but something about seeing him laying there on the couch while I am simultaneously running around after the kids, folding laundry, cooking dinner, paying bills, loading the dishwasher, etc, makes me want to pummel him. I usually just poke him and suggest that he take his nap in bed where I can't see him. I know, I'm totally insane. 13. And for #13, I'll leave you with some Famous Expressions from The Boy, by which we are Immoderately Amused: a) He calls Lightning McQueen, from the movie "Cars," Lightning the Queen. Maybe he knows something about Owen Wilson that we don't. b) When he is pretending to sleep, he lays down and says "Honk Shoo" very loudly. Tricky little thing. c) and perhaps my favorite of all, and the one that will send him straight to therapy when he is older and finds out that I put this on the web, he calls his scrotum his "hangs" -- ostensibly because they just hang there. Proper usage of the term is as follows: "I have to fix my underwear because my hangs are falling out." Links to other Thursday Thirteens! 1. Maggie 2. Mommabee 3. somethingblue 4. Dayngr 5. LoudLabRat 6. . . .my 2 cents 7. chupieandj'smama 8. Carrie 9. Jenny Ryan 10. 4andcounting 11. Incog & Nito 12. Amy

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